I can't believe I forgot this!

So, I totally made a post birthday post, but I guess it got eaten. Probably something Simon did.






Also, like. Dear blogspot, you take for effing ever to upload a picture. For reals.

It's oh, so quiet...

The kids are asleep (for now), the laundry is folded, diapers are drying, the living room is clean... I am feeling rather accomplished. Now I just need to go the bed myself. My little princess wakes up a bajillion times at night to eat, it makes mama tired.

Sometimes I feel like my mind is running a million miles a minute. I can think of all kinds of things I need to do or want to do, buy. I want to buy Simon some more blocks, some shoes, a fall jacket, a chair, a booster seat. I want to buy Ruby a convertible carseat, more bows, more babylegs, fall clothes, some toys of her own. I want to buy myself some clothes that fit, a nice winter jacket, new shoes, get my bangs trimmed, my hair colored, my eyebrows waxed. I need new glasses because Simon broke my last pair and I'm on my last pair of contacts. I want to get my broken tooth fixed. I want to get a pedicure. Want to buy a desk chair. Put money in savings for the kids, buy another vehicle, buy a house.

But truth be told, I am pretty happy. I am lucky I get to be the brand snob that I am. I am lucky that I have time to spend with my kids, time to meal plan, time to worry about the state of my toenails. I am lucky that we can afford those organic eggs that I insist on, more than double a regular carton of eggs. And I have healthy kids. A wonderful husband. The best friends. A family who loves me, regardless of my faults or my ridiculous mop.

I really think I have the best little family. My husband does anything and everything for us. He works hard with little complaint. He loves me and he loves the kids. And he is the best dad. I know every wife says that, but it's true. He really is. Of course, my kiddos are pretty great. Simon is just so full of life, so happy and so independent. He loves his mama and his kitty and his baby sister. And Ruby... well, miss Ruby is still showing us who she is. One thing I know for sure, this one's a little spitfire. And she's going to give B and I a run for our money the rest of our lives.

I guess you're probably wondering, "what's your point, O typical mommy blogger?" and my answer for you? I have none.


I could do a real post. I could post about how when I finally get a chance to go to the bathroom, the stupid cats bust in. I could post about how every single time I put Ruby in the Bumbo on the table, I see that stupid warning that tells you not to use it on an elevated surface, and I feel guilty. Even though I'm literally RIGHT THERE, I see that warning and I know I'm breaking the rules. Like somehow Ruby is going to leap out of that Bumbo, past my waiting arms and break her neck on the floor. Or work. I suppose I could post about work. About how I spent a good four hours on Saturday morning patting myself on the back for being such a good mommy with a coworker of mine.

Or I could talk about how I stopped washing makeup off and now my face is breaking out. And how I'm still not going to wash makeup off. Or how I've decided that this :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNDfreK0Yno

is the funniest commercial since the Geico caveman commercials came out.

Watch that. Right now.

Tomorrow I turn 26.

And it is the first day of the rest of my life. So, that's a plus. :)

As you know, I am baking a cake. I am still overly excited about that. There is a gift for me on the top shelf of the bookshelf and I am crossing my fingers it is a Kindle. Man, I want a Kindle so bad. If it's not though, I'm sure I will still like it. I'm not even just saying that to be gracious.

Ruby is in her crib. It's been about forty minutes, which I consider a success. Now I kind of don't know what to do with myself. I have both kids down and like... both arms free. But I have to be quiet, so sadly, dishes are out.


I spoke too soon. Starting the timer over again at 9:43.








Do you see Simon's costume? /dies

Confessions of a desperate housewife.

Just kidding. I'm not desperate. I just like a dramatic title.

But it is a confession, of sorts. My confession is that for my birthday, I plan to make myself a homemade carrot cake. I've never tried to make a cake on my own before (you know, not out of a box) and I have been thinking about it... for at least a week. Planning, planning... thinking. I think about it at work when I should be helping customers. In the car on the ride home. Just like, all the time. I am so excited. :) I hope it turns out good.

I don't really know what to blog about today. The kids were good. They did adorable kid things. I am trying to crib train Ruby and it's not going so hot. Firstly, I am not dedicated AT. ALL. She doesn't sleep well as it is, and I'm really not looking forward to rocking the boat. The problem is, she sleeps in a Rock and Play Sleeper, which she is getting entirely too big for and she keeps rolling over in. It's actually kind of dangerous.

So I halfheartedly attempted it tonight, but I just don't have the patience in me. I guess I feel like bedtime is like, my reward time. After working all day and taking care of the kids all evening, I need some down time. Some quiet time. Some off time. I just don't have the energy to crib train her on top of it all.

So, she slept in there for a short time during nap time and for about three minutes at bedtime. I figure it's a start. Hopefully this weekend when B is off we can work on it together. Like, take turns or something.


This morning I arrived at work early and it was so glorious. I sat down, ate a Chick Fil A breakfast burrito and just enjoyed the morning sun. I don't know why I always feel like I need a break, you know? It's amazing how much of my life is consumed by kiddos.

Shaking off the day.

I blame this evening's mass failure on Rachael Ray. If she wasn't such a lying bish, I would have been fine.

It all started with my incessant need to "try new things." I get out the good ol' Rachael Ray "Yum-o" family cookbook, because right? It's a family cookbook. Probably something a mom could make, with little ones underfoot. So I decide to make pork chops and she makes it sound ohhhhh so easy.

Step one: mash chops until they are 1/4" thick. Ok, fine. Put Ruby down for a nap, mash mash, Ruby wakes up. Put Ruby in Ergo and continue to mash, while Ruby cries and thrashes to get out. Mash harder. Simon is slamming the mouse into the keyboard, Ruby cries and thrashes to get out. Mash harder. Simon is slamming the mouse into the keyboard, Ruby cries and thrashes to get out and I explode the paprika everywhere. Mash harder.
Now, I have paper thin pork chops. Okay, fine.

Step two: Dip chops in flour/paprika mixture, egg wash, bread crumbs. Decide that the job will get done faster without a squirmy baby strapped to my chest, place hysterical baby on the floor. Dip, dip, dip, pan. Ignore baby. Ignore toddler jamming car keys in the cat's eyes. Dip, dip, dip, pan. Ok.

Step three: Wait four minutes, then flip. Pick up now beet red, hysterical baby, shoosh and soothe. After four minutes, put baby back down. Ignore further crying.

Step four: Consider what would happen if I just ran away, right now. Retract thought, burn dinner, think said thought again.



Annnyway, I could go on and on but suffice it to say... I needed a drink. If Rachael Ray wasn't such a lying ho, none of this would have happened. Thus, it is her fault.



And alas, my pecking has woken up the baby.

I also had to share this.

This is an excerpt from my former life, which I found to be hilariously fitting.

"I always think about updating my LJ, but I am soooooo terrified of accidentally turning it into a mommy blog that I stop. Now that I am a mommy, I hate mommy blogs with a fiery passion. I don't understand why these people think their experiences are unique and special and the world needs to know about it. Especially Stay at Home mommy blogs. THOSE are the worst. I always want to comment "WHAT about your life is so special and interesting that you think the world needs to know?! Wow! Timmy spit up ten times today! You perfected your lasagna recipe! OMG!! AWARDS!!" I just can't take it."




Ohhhh how the tides have turned.

I'd like to dedicate this post to...

Who? My old friend, livejournal, who I have sadly left behind? The lady who stole my quarter today after I dropped it on the floor? The guy who hit on me this morning, and who accepted a cupcake as his reward?

Maybe I should dedicate this post to my former self. The girl who cared for fashion, shoes, vague blog posts always relating to dieting or boys. Maybe it should be a shout out to that young and carefree me. Hey yo, Heather!

So this is me turning over a new leaf. I don't really know what I am doing, as most things in my life go these days. I feel scattered, but maybe that's because they give you so many color choices for the layout.

Also, my LJ was 22 years in the future.

Honestly, I never thought I would leave LJ. I loved it. I guess I stopped posting there because I felt like I was getting too 'mommy blogger' for my old friends. I was trying to spare them from my transformation. Here, I can start anew.

YES. I AM A MOMMY BLOGGER. At least if people gag, it's not people who knew me for who I was. Today my life is filled with thoughts of baby shoes, what's nutritious, why is it that even though I'm breastfeeding, my boobs are still small.

Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth. I need coffee in the morning. I haven't painted my toenails in at least 6 weeks, or shaved my legs in 2. I am 26 years old and living the dream. The dream is to have spit up down your back in Walmart without realizing it, right?

Check, check.

Is this thing on?